Sam
The following is the post on Sam's website this evening. Sam is the little boy I asked you to pray for today. I know I have a special compassion for families in our similar situation, but if this doesn't rip your heart out, I don't know what would. Please lift this family and this little boy up in your prayers.
Posted July 2nd:
This is the third time that I have tried to type this, or rather post it. Twice it has disappeared. It is just a sign of the type of day we have had. It started with a bad report from the nurse, followed by the cardiologist who mentioned taking Sam off ECMO because of the complications. That would essentially be pulling the plug. The cardiac surgeon continued the bad news by coming by to tell us Sam was not eligible for a transplant while septic and was therefore off the transplant list, at least until the infection clears and he is culture negative. In addition, his sepsis and poor circulation have caused micro clots in all four extremities. They are very mottled, the right hand and left foot are completely purple. If he cannot improve this, he would likely not be put back on the transplant list.
The transplant team came by deliver a formal letter telling us we were off the transplant list. The social worker and child life specialist came by to see if we needed help telling Chandler and Jacob and if we wanted castings of Sam’s feet and hands. Wouldn’t you be crushed? On a week that seemed to hold so much promise, instead we have to decide how much further to go. On a day when hundreds of people are praying for Sam, what we see is all bad news with little likelihood of improvement. This whole unit is a miracle in my opinion and the methods, machines and techniques are medical wonders. The people are fabulous. None of this is enough. We are in need of a true miracle from God if Sam is to survive with good function.
Though we have tried to be hopeful, I confess to being terribly depressed. There seems so little positive to grasp at. I want to trust, to be faithful and hopeful. I want peace and most of all I want healing. Is it really not God’s will to heal my son? Yes, I truly know that God will give him not just a perfect heart but a perfect body. I know that he is a gift of God and only on loan to us, but is it too much to ask for more time here and now. There are so many things I want to do with my son, so much I want him to learn. I want him to grow physically and spiritually. I want many more years of shared memories.
Hundreds of you prayed for Sam today. Please continue to do so. Perhaps he is to be a sign of God’s healing power when even the miracles of modern medicine do not suffice. Certainly His medicine is more powerful, infallible. Lord, please let me see my son healed. I do not know what else to say. I am emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Please continue to pray for us all.
John and Tanja
Posted July 2nd:
This is the third time that I have tried to type this, or rather post it. Twice it has disappeared. It is just a sign of the type of day we have had. It started with a bad report from the nurse, followed by the cardiologist who mentioned taking Sam off ECMO because of the complications. That would essentially be pulling the plug. The cardiac surgeon continued the bad news by coming by to tell us Sam was not eligible for a transplant while septic and was therefore off the transplant list, at least until the infection clears and he is culture negative. In addition, his sepsis and poor circulation have caused micro clots in all four extremities. They are very mottled, the right hand and left foot are completely purple. If he cannot improve this, he would likely not be put back on the transplant list.
The transplant team came by deliver a formal letter telling us we were off the transplant list. The social worker and child life specialist came by to see if we needed help telling Chandler and Jacob and if we wanted castings of Sam’s feet and hands. Wouldn’t you be crushed? On a week that seemed to hold so much promise, instead we have to decide how much further to go. On a day when hundreds of people are praying for Sam, what we see is all bad news with little likelihood of improvement. This whole unit is a miracle in my opinion and the methods, machines and techniques are medical wonders. The people are fabulous. None of this is enough. We are in need of a true miracle from God if Sam is to survive with good function.
Though we have tried to be hopeful, I confess to being terribly depressed. There seems so little positive to grasp at. I want to trust, to be faithful and hopeful. I want peace and most of all I want healing. Is it really not God’s will to heal my son? Yes, I truly know that God will give him not just a perfect heart but a perfect body. I know that he is a gift of God and only on loan to us, but is it too much to ask for more time here and now. There are so many things I want to do with my son, so much I want him to learn. I want him to grow physically and spiritually. I want many more years of shared memories.
Hundreds of you prayed for Sam today. Please continue to do so. Perhaps he is to be a sign of God’s healing power when even the miracles of modern medicine do not suffice. Certainly His medicine is more powerful, infallible. Lord, please let me see my son healed. I do not know what else to say. I am emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Please continue to pray for us all.
John and Tanja
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